Pain
by wincest4eva
Summary: SongficOneshot WARNING: WINCEST IS IN THIS STORY. DeanSam Sam Is Dead In This. Song: Pain by Three Days Grace


**Pain**

**Disclaimer: I don't really do these, cause I KNOW that you KNOW that I DON'T own ANYTHING that has to do with Supernatural, or anything else I would write about….IM NOT FREEKIN RICH! Lmao**

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_**Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all**_

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**I sat there, on the bed in the lonely motel room. **

**Yea, lonely as in no Sam. **

**No Sam to sit with me.**

**No Sam to hold me.**

**No Sam to tell me "I love you" at night.**

**No Sam to hold and love.**

**No more Sam.**

**No more love.**

**Sam is dead.**

**Never coming back.**

**Nothing I can do will bring him back.**

**I really don't see the point living now.**

**I cant live without him.**

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**_You're sick of feeling numb  
You're not the only one  
I'll take you by the hand  
And I'll show you a world that you can understand  
_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**I sat there and got lost in the memories.**

**I don't want to go back to reality.**

**My memories are better.**

**Keep me from tears.**

**Keep me from remembering he is dead.**

**I don't want to have him as only a memory.**

**I want him here and now.**

**I would die just to hold him once more.**

**I would die just to see him.**

**Memories seem to be bringing pain now.**

**How do I escape the pain?**

**But pain is good. **

**Pain means in alive.**

**Pain means that this isn't a never ending dream. **

**Reality I think is no more.**

**I can see him.**

**I can feel his breath from here.**

**I think I'm going crazy.**

**If this is a dream I don't want to wake.**

**He's grabbed my hand and whispered something.**

**I cant tell what cause he's so quiet. **

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_**This life is filled with hurt  
When happiness doesn't work  
Trust me and take my hand  
When the lights go out you will understand**_

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**Darkness fills me.**

**I cant see.**

**But I can feel.**

**I can feel his hand.**

**I can feel the warmth.**

**I cant see now though.**

**I can see him.**

**I can see a house.**

**I cant see others.**

**I cant see who.**

**Sam seems to be taking me somewhere.**

**Where though?**

**Now I can see the people.**

**It's mom.**

**It's dad.**

**It's mom dad and Sam.**

**I think I'm going to cry.**

**But I cant cry.**

**Hiding the tears hurts when they are putting up a good fight. **

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Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all  
_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Pain reminds me that I'm alive.**

**But what I don't get is why I see them.**

**If I feel pain it means I'm awake.**

**If I feel pain it means that I must be going truly insane.**

**I'd rather feel pain to know I'm alive. **

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**_Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all  
_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**I cant feel him anymore.**

**He let go.**

**I cant move.**

**I cant hold my Sammy.**

**I cant hug my mom.**

**I cant hug my dad.**

**I cant move.**

**And it's now pissed me off.**

**I want to touch him.**

**I want to touch my Sammy!**

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Anger and agony  
Are better than misery  
Trust me I've got a plan  
When the lights go off you will understand  
_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**I calm when I see Sam smile.**

**His smile always does that.**

**I feel mom hug me.**

**I can smell her.**

**I feel dad pat me on the back then hug me.**

**I can smell his leather jacket.**

**I feel Sam's strong arms hold be like he did when he was alive.**

**I see nothing now.**

**I feel no Sam.**

**But I feel a pain in my chest.**

**I feel like my hearts been ripped out.**

**All I can feel is the sharp pain of a broken heart.**

**All I can see is black.**

**All I can see is emptiness.**

**What I see is what I feel.**

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Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_**

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**I hear Sam.**

**He's calling me.**

**I can move.**

**But I cant see were to move.**

**It's like I'm blindfolded.**

**Follow his voice.**

**He keeps asking me to save him.**

**He's dead.**

**How can I save a dead man?**

**How do I save Sam?**

**Why save a dead man?**

**I can see him now.**

**Only him.**

**He looks happy.**

**Like he hasn't seen me forever.**

**He had a tear rolling down his face.**

**A tear of joy.**

**I can see it in his eyes.**

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Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing  
Rather feel pain_**

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**It hurts to see him.**

**It hurts to know I'll never have him.**

**He's dead.**

**He's in my face now.**

**He looks sad.**

**Longing.**

**Lonely and lost.**

**He smiles and embraces me.**

**Whispers to me.**

**And I hold him tighter and tighter afraid to lose something that isn't there.**

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I know (I know I know I know)  
That you're wounded  
You know (You know you know you know)  
That I'm here to save you  
You know (You know you know you know)  
I'm always here for you  
I know (I know I know I know)  
That you'll thank me later  
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**I'm wounded.**

**My heart is ripped open.**

**I know that I'll die lonely.**

**I know that I'll die knowing Sam loved me.**

**But he's never going to be with me again.**

**I'm doomed to be lost until he saves me.**

**Do I want to be saved?**

**Do I want to forget him?**

**Never.**

**I only wish to be saved from the pain my heart holds.**

**And Sam whispered to me that he can.**

**He's dead though.**

**Dead.**

**Dead.**

**Dead! **

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Pain, without love  
Pain, can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all  
_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**I know what he whispers now.**

**I know what he's saying.**

**He tells me that he will be with me forever.**

**He says that he loves me more then anything.**

**He says that he will hold me again.**

**He says that we will meet again.**

**He tells me not to be so sad.**

**He tells me that when I hear 3 knocks and a hand grasp my hand he's there.**

**He tells me to never forget him.**

**And asks me if the pain I hold is to much.**

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_**Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all  
Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all  
Rather feel pain than nothing at all  
Rather feel pain**_

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**I tell him that it's ok.**

**I tell him that I can handle the pain.**

**I tell him it's the only thing telling me I'm alive.**

**It's the only thing that lets me know I'm not sleeping.**

**I tell him that I love him.**

**I tell him that I will never forget him.**

**I tell him that I would love to hear the knocks and feel his grasp.**

**I let him know that I will try to continue on.**

**I let him know that he's given me a reason to live.**

**I tell him that I hope this isn't all in my mind.**

**He looks me in the eye and promises that it isn't.**

**I try to kiss him.**

**I cant though.**

**He says goodbye and disappears in the darkness.**

**I call for him.**

**But all I hear is the words echoing.**

**I see the room appear before me.**

**I feel tired.**

**I'm on the verge of tears.**

**Knowing my luck it wasn't real.**

**Knowing my luck I'm insane.**

**I go to sleep trying to escape my thoughts.**

**I almost fall asleep when I hear 3 knocks.**

**I smile and then feel a hand on mine.**

**I look to see nothing.**

**I cant see.**

**But I can feel.**

**I fall asleep knowing that I have the one I love with me.**

**I fall asleep knowing it wasn't just my mind.**

**I fall asleep knowing that I will soon see him again.**

**I will see my dear Sammy again.**

**That day wouldn't come soon enough.**

**The day I die will never be close enough.**

**But knowing Sam is here makes living worth the pain.**

**'Cause I'd rather feel pain then nothing at all. **

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**Song: Pain**

**Artist: Three Days Grace**

**A/N: Well this song has been yelling at me to write a oneshot about it, So i did!**


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